Starting a Conversation

October 1, 2010 3 comments

Getting the girls of your dreams requires talking to them. To talk to them, you will need to start a conversation. Although it’s so completely wrong and against how things should work, its not the norm to have beautiful girls come up and start talking to you unless you look like Brad Pitt (even then..)

There are other ways to get into conversations with beautiful girls without approaching them, such as developing your social circle so they are introduced to you, attending events like speed dating or joining a dance class. We may cover these later but they take longer to do and give one less control so for now, let’s focus on approaching women you have never met before.

There different conversation starters we will go over today.

Situational

A situational conversation starter works by getting into proximity to the girl you want to speak to in a subtle manner, then mentioning something about the situation to start the conversation.

This is how most normal conversations are started. They are good because there fairly unassuming, have a low rate of rejection and feel quite natural.

An example of this would be walking up to the bar to order a drink, next to a girl you are interested in. Then mentioning something about the weird bar tenders hair, the band that is playing, the smell – or anything else to do with the situation.

Other examples could be:

The line at the coffee shop
The marching band in the parade
The screaming kid in the mall

The problem with situational openers, is they are difficult to come up with if you are nervous and there is nothing obvious going on (ie its a Tuesday night and you’re at the local pub). But they can be great if you notice something clever or can change topic well.

Functional Opener

Functional openers are starting a conversation to complete a function. Examples include:

Do you have the time?
Do you know where xyz is?
Would you mind watching my bag for a second? (if you’re in a coffee shop)

Pros:

These have similar benefits to the situational opener, maybe even more unassuming and with an even lower rate of rejection.

Cons:

They are extremely hard to build a conversation out of. You will get your answers and the interaction will be over. These are very difficult to pull off successfully, but they are great training tools if you are not used to talking to strangers.

Opinion Openers

From all the dating material that has come out lately, Opinion Openers have been the most widely used and best accepted openers. Here are some examples:

Example 1

Guy: Hey guys, I had a quick question and I was wondering if I could get your opinion.

Girls: Sure

Guy: Who do you think lies more, men or women?

Girls: Men or Women (usually men)

Guy: Hmm interesting. So do you think its men (or women) because they actually lie more, or they just get caught more?

Girls: bla bla

Example 2

Guy: Hey guys, quick question, I’ve been thinking about changing my hair, I was thinking fully blond and spiky (or any other outrageous style), what do you reckon?

Girls: Yes, no

Guy: Ok, what about a mow hawk?

Girls: Yes, no

Guy: Mullet?

Girls: Yes, no

Guy: Well what do you think I should do?

(They may have already offered opinions before this)

Pros

Opinion openers are great because if you have some good ones, you can get a good conversation going that has a likely hood to spin off on to a new topic by its self. You can also talk about interesting topics which give you a little bit of attraction. They give you lots of time to notice things about them to create an observational topic change. Plus once you have done one a few times, you can learn the general responses and prepare counter responses.

Cons

Opinion openers are what’s known as a “canned routine”. This can make some people feel quite uncomfortable. It can get boring saying the same thing over and over. There is the very slight possibility you may get caught using the same line as someone else. They take lots of time so you can spend 10minutes in an opinion opener only to find out the girl you are interested in already has a boyfriend.

The Love Systems Routine Manual 1 and Routines Manual 2 have a large number of excellent opinion openers, broken down in detail for you to use. Check em out!

Semi-Direct Conversation Starters

Semi direct openers are lines that are obvious you are going over to start a conversation, but leave it open as to which particular girl you are interested in or if you are just being a friendly guy. Examples include:

Hey guys, how’s it going?
Hi!
Hey!

Pros

These are great if you have a good vibe going on. People are generally friendly, especially in social situations like bars and clubs. They display confidence and social intuition which are attractive traits and they are easy to remember.

Cons

They can be a hard to topic change out of. And you need interesting material to go on with straight off the bat (where as the opinion opener gives you some interesting material until you can think of something next). Some girls who have massive bitch shields up may not respond to these kind of openers and just tell you to leave them alone (although that’s likely because of your status, social proof and body language)

Direct Openers

Direct openers are the ballsy openers. They require lots of confidence and do have a large percentage of blowing out or not working on the spot. Some people think this is a good thing however.

Examples:

Hey, you’re cute, what’s your name?
I saw you from across the room and just had to come over and say high, because if I didn’t, I would be kicking myself for the rest of the day.
Hey, I know this may sound a little forward, but you are absolutely stunning. I noticed you from over there and had to come and say high, because if I didn’t, id seriously regret it tomorrow.

Pros

If said properly, with correct body language and confidence, these lines can basically close on the spot. You can basically win the girl from a single line. This is impossible from any other opener. These openers create automatic attraction because they display confidence and a man who knows what he wants. They are a quick screener to see if a girl is interested or available. If the girl has a boyfriend, you will know in the first 30 seconds, so you don’t have to waste any more time talking to her.

Cons

They can lead to instant rejection. These openers give you very little time to display your personality and build attraction with a girl so they can cause you to blow out instantly. They also take lots of confidence to pull off so are more difficult.

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