Approaching Girls in the Library
The library is an excellent place to meet girls in college. As I’m sure you have already noticed if you are reading this, there are a number of attractive girls that go to the library to complete their studies. But that’s not the only reason why the library is a great place to meet girls. Here are some other reasons:
- The library is quite and easy to strike up a conversation
- The girl is most likely going to be there for a while giving you time to get to know her
- Lots of the time girls will be on their own, meaning you won’t have to deal with their friends
- You both already have something in common (obviously you both go to the same college) but you will both have something to study
- It’s an unassuming environment and the girls won’t have their guard up like if they were in a club and expecting every guy to hit on them.
There are a number of ways to approach a girl at the library, but there are many different situations you will encounter in a library so let’s take a look at some of the different circumstances and how you would go about approaching in them:
You are sitting on the same group table as her
Circumstance: You are both sitting on a shared table that sits 6-12 people. You are within reasonable conversation distance, 2-3 seats away on the same side or across the table and there are no other people in the way. If you are shouting across 4 people on a table, this will most likely not work. You will be displaying you don’t understand the social dynamics and she will not find this attractive. To take a look at the general attractive traits, take a look at the article on Getting a Girl Interested on our parent site.
The Approach: To approach a girl in this situation is fairly simple. You can use a social opener such as “Hi” or “Hey”. A key with this approach is to do it as soon as either of you sit down. If she sits down, and you sit there all nervous for the first few or many minutes then start talking to her, she will think you have low confidence. Another unattractive trait. So make sure you either go to the table she is sitting down at, start taking out your books and when she looks at you, say a simple “Hi” or “Hello”. You will need to transition out of this either straight away or you can reopen with an opinion opener later like below.
You could also use an opinion opener. Either a real opener relative to your situation or a canned opener. An easy way to transition into this, is to pull out your phone like you received a txt message (I would suggest if you are pretending to do this, pull out your phone and switch it to silent so it doesn’t ring/txt for real later in the interaction) and do a little giggle or smirk. Then a few seconds later, motion towards her and say “excuse me, can I ask you a quick question?” she will say yes all the time if you don’t come across like a creep, because it’s the nice thing to do. Then go into your opinion opener like “I’m having this ongoing argument with my friend about what show it would be better to be on, survivor or big brother… what do you recon?” or whatever your opinion opener is. This should start up a conversation when you can change topics out of later.
She is browsing the books
Circumstance: She is walking up and down the book isles looking for a book of some sort.
The Approach: Walk down the same isle as her and pretend like you are looking for a book. Then when she stops somewhere, stop near her and open. Don’t look at her or give her all your full attention, keep looking at the book you have open or your section of the shelves. The easiest opener here would be a situational opener or a humorous situational. Try “I can never find books in this place, its massive.” Or a humorous opener like “You looking for the karma sutra too?”
You will need strong topic changers here so be prepared as the conversation will fizzle out quickly if not prepared.
She is sitting on a shared computer
Circumstance: She is sitting on a shared row of computers, surfing the net etc.
The Approach: You will basically need to be sitting next to her here. Walk up and pull up a chair next to her. You can use the techniques we talked about when sitting on a shared desk, as they will work but there are some computer specific things you can do on a computer to get her talking.
Knowing some funny websites or You Tube videos can work wonders here. Open up the site and have a good chuckle to yourself. Then tap her on the shoulder and say “you have to check this out, my friend just sent it to me, it’s hilarious!” Let her watch it and topic change out afterwards. You could try a challenge like “I bet you don’t know a funnier video that than!” or just go on with finding out some info about her and teasing her.
She is sitting at an individual study desk
Circumstance: This is one of the trickier circumstances in a library. She is sitting at one of those individual study desks where you can’t sit next to her and its difficult to talk.
The Approach: This is going to be a confidence approach. You will need to hold frame. The reason for this is that she is going to see you approaching and probably other people in the library too. There are two options recommended in this situation. Straight direct or funny direct.
Straight direct would be “I was just on my way out but saw you from across the room and had to come over and say something. You’re really cute and I would kick myself if I didn’t”
Funny direct would be “Hi, I saw you from across the room and couldn’t notice you had some very unique features. I’m an up and coming artist and couldn’t help it, I had to draw you. Usually I sell my drawings for hundreds of dollars, but since I didn’t ask you I thought I should give you the copy of the drawing.”
Then pull out a piece of paper from your notebook with a stick figure of a girl drawn on with the writing “some girl at the library”. Then say “I would have put your name on it but I don’t know it…”
Either of these approaches have a chance of getting you blown out as you won’t be able to test for attraction, but sometimes there is no other option.
Other Situations
There are a number of other circumstances you may come across in the library but by mixing and matching the above you should be able to come up with something unique and original to approach with. If you have a particular circumstance you don’t know how to handle, post it in the comments and I will let you know if I have come across it before.
Related posts:
- Approaching Girls While Walking Around Campus
- Starting a Conversation
- Meeting Girls in Class
- My Favorite way to Approach Women
- Getting Past the Opener (Transitioning and Changing Topic)
- Meeting Girls in College Social Clubs
- Meeting Girls while Travelling – Transport
- How to Start a Conversation with a Girl
- How to Hold Yourself when Talking to Girls
- Meeting Girls in Class – Round 2
